A year since ........

......I left the rat race.

Since I have so much time on my hands nowadays I have been doing a lot of soul searching (unintentionally of course!) I don't know why but at my age? My sentiment exactly! What I had as a job was not what I would call a career nor one that I would choose to be in either . It was what I had to do to pay the bills when you are the eldest in a family full of financial restraints. I was never asked about what my amibition was, let alone any advice was given as to which profession would benefit me for life. I had to take what was given. The first job that landed on my lap was as a receptionist in a legal firm. It was good to begin with and was learning something new every day but as time went on all that slowly trickled away. Though I am proud to say that I've worked up the ranks through those 25 years but it was hardly easy as I had to put up with a lot bullying and a lot of "kow towing" in fear of being dismissed for insubordination if I dared question anything.

Now as I am getting restless with the time on my hands I am thinking I need to focus on something new again. I need to look for something to do with my time but the question of what kind of work would I want to go into is still unanswered. THAT itself is a big question. People say if you enjoy what you do you wouldn’t describe it as work. Now I know what I enjoy doing but that ain’t gonna bring in moneyll So I am back to looking at what there are out there for me – which I am capable of doing and all I can see are clerical/admin stuff which spells out LOUD and CLEAR “NOT MY CUP OF TEA" . So here I am finding myself going round and round in circles !!! I don’t want to go back to their so called “rat race” . So what if you win you are still a rat at the end of day !! Is this what having a mid life crisis feels like I wonder ?